This isn't so much news as it is a public service to warn motorists and pedestrians that there are drivers out there who may pose a real danger to themselves or others, and there is usually someone with a camera to make sure the world sees it.
We love action videos showing BMW drivers expertly navigating racetracks at speed, creating cumulonimbus clouds of tire smoke while drifting, or getting big air during dirt road rallies with their Bimmers. The video below is not one of those. It’s more like what you might find on a blooper reel. Let’s face it, being able to afford a BMW does not confer upon a person the ability to drive it well—even in a parking lot.
When we watched the first video of a BMW driver unsuccessfully attempting to park her BMW, we had many questions, not the least of which was “Do they not require the inhabitants of her planet to demonstrate some minimum level of skill before handing them a driver’s license?”
Then we realized we might be judging her harshly. There could be mitigating circumstances for her complete lack of parking ability. Drugs, alcohol, a serious illness, or perhaps a diplomatic passport might explain this performance. Maybe she was parking for an appointment with her optometrist. Seriously, if there is a good reason, we'd like to know.
We will give her credit for realizing her limitations when she asked a complete stranger to finish parking the car for her. Perhaps this is not an infrequent occurrence with her, and like Blanche DuBois, she has always depended on the kindness of strangers. While we were happy that no one lost their life in this parking maneuver, the little evil voice in the back of our head wanted the good Samaritan, once he got into the car, to just keep driving. But he was a decent and chivalrous fellow and probably saved someone’s sheet metal—at least for the moment.
At the very least, the hapless driver seemed to possess no concept of directional parking lanes. By the end of the second video, however, she is headed in the right direction, but that may only be a coincidence.
Again, we could be unfair in our assessment. Maybe in her home galaxy, there is only parallel parking and she may be really, really good at parallel parking. Or maybe some people should stick to public transportation.
What can we learn from these videos? First, be aware that you might encounter this driver, or one like her, anywhere and anytime, so drive accordingly. Second, be aware that with increasing regularity there is someone with a camera phone who can record how you’re driving, anywhere and anytime, so drive accordingly.—Scott Blazey
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Episode 2: The Return of the Sith
[Photo and videos courtesy of Wayne R.]
