So im about to leave the house and I put the shifter into first gear. I move about 20 ft and suddenly the shifter gets launched back into neutral scaring the crap out of me and anyone standing within 15ft of the car. What could be causing this problem. It is extremely intermittent: hot, cold, first thing in the morning, or even after I've been driving for 20 minutes on the autobahn and take the exit.
Sounds like a bad detent or a bent shift fork. I have read about a detent problem with some later 3 series, and yours is probably suffering from this same issue. Do a search here, I think it has been discussed before.
I did a search on the forum and all i kept getting was this post. Do you have any links that i might be able to follow to get more information or could you explain how i could check for a bad detent or bent shift fork.
That doesn't sound good. My shifter pops out of 1st sometimes on my '98 323is as well. It's pretty rare and it always feels like it may not have been all the way in gear. So lately I have been a conscious effort to push the stick into gear all the way and then I keep light pressure on it until I go into 2nd, and this seems to work. I just hope it doesn't get worse. Sorry I can't help you, but let us know if you figure yours out - I may need the help as well...
Not 100% sure on this, but don't these cars suffer from shifting issues because of worn transmission mounts? It your mounts are original, it might not be a bad thing to replace and see it it makes a difference.