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M-ental Help Needed

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by ericwday, Mar 12, 2008.

    ericwday guest

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    Somebody please talk me out of getting rid of my M5. I've been a member since the mid-90's. Owned a 528e, a '95 M3, and now a '91 M5.
    The only reason I can come up with to keep it is to give Ray Korman some more work (stroker motor, refurbished tranny).
    Help!

    p.s. I reinstated my membership to hear from others in the same position...any self-help forums out there? M (owners) A (anonymous)?
    • Member

    MGarrison

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    Go find aaaaaaaaaaa........ well I don't know, something really heavy, or slow, or heavy and slow, or old, slow, and cheap.... in the BMW camp, say maybe a really cheap mostly shot rusted out 1.8l 1980 320i - make sure it has stock seats. non-functioning a/c. It would help if it was running on 3 cylinders. Drive it every day and evening for a week in July, and make sure everyplace you drive it you have to parallel park it (remember, it doesn't have power steering) - don't fix it up any now, just make sure it's safe to drive.

    (disclaimer for all you now freshly insulted 320i lovers going harumph and ready to crucify me on a rusty hood and start-up your acetylene torches: I'm not anti-320i (I had mine for 11 years and enjoyed it thoroughly the whole time), this is just for the sake of attempting to make an extreme comparison. Same disclaimer goes for any other models/cars/makes mentioned - it's nothing personal!

    Or, if you don't like the 320i idea, perhaps one of those really small pickup trucks - make sure it's got as small and poorly running engine as possible, and make it at _least_ 15 years old. Drive that around for a week. Or some behemoth workaday American iron from ohh... 1974 or 1975 (I think those early emissions controls choked your avg. undersized/underpowered engine of the day down to about 6 hp??)

    Anyway, enjoy sweltering for a week in a car w/ no a/c in hot & humid weather, getting a workout parallel parking without power-assisted steering (or hardly any other amenities), seats with springs more shot than the worn out bed of a $32/night former Howard Johnson's that lost it's franchise 30 years ago, the oomph of your average dead giant sloth, with pitch and roll qualities equivalent to your standard fishing trawler caught in a North Atlantic winter nor'easter, and the tire grip of water on teflon.

    Then, hop back in your M5 for 25 minutes and see if you might find a reason or two to keep it.

    After that, if you decide to park it on the curb and spit on it and hope it just disappears and plan to give it away free to the first Tom, Dick, or Harry that appears (no offense to the Tom's, Dick's, and Harry's out there), well hey, maybe I can help you out there. :p

    I probably wouldn't complain about it until gas prices reach $5 or $6 dollars a gallon!

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