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Chris' Boring Podcast

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Autohaus, Nov 12, 2008.

    Autohaus guest

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    I figure once a week I'll post some boring/pointless topic to view during our workdays ;). The subject today is how to get rid of a sales call/person when you aren't in the market to buy something requiring a salesperson. Whether its people standing by the front doors at Walmart or at the mall trying to get your attention to buy something (you know, when you have to hand out something green called money) or a typical sales call when you know after saying no they still insist like the sharks they are. How about this flip:

    You tell them, "I'll gladly buy your product if you buy my car right here on the spot".

    You: "It's a (insert your BMW make/model/mileage/options and you give a ridiculous price mark up)"
    Salesperson: "uuummmmmmmmm"?
    You: "come on, you'll look great in it"!!!!!!
    Salesperson: "Sorry I can't (for whatever reason)"
    You: "Oh well if your not gonna help me, I'm not gonna help you"

    Therefore, you switch the pressure on them :D
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    az3579

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    Sales call / Telemarketing

    Mmmmm, a fun subject.

    Them: "Hello sir. This is not a sales call..." (I love it when they say this - flat out lying is humorous, especially when they suck at it :D) "We are wondering if you'd be interested in donating to the [insert fake organization here], a non-profit organization..." (another lie) " dedicated to the... " blah blah blah.

    Me: "No, but I work for the satellite TV company, and since you called, you can have one of my exclusive special offers that is limited to the first 200 people!"

    Them: Click.



    Or,

    Them: "Hello, is this [insert name here]?"

    Me: "Huh?"

    Them: "We have a special offer for you!"

    Me: "Nem beszélek Angolúl!"

    Them: Click.


    The "I don't speak English" crap works all the time. :D




    I especially love the automated that goes "Hi, this is Mark WITH THE SATELLITE TV COMPANY!" -- pretend the caps is shouting, because that's what that one sounds like. It's hilarious...



    I really can't stand it when you walk into a store and the salespeople clearly see you know what you're looking for and dont' need help but they try anyway. For example, I walked into a Circuit City the other day (not with my money, that's for damned sure) to look for a hard drive for a customer because they needed one immediately. I was comparing two of the hard drives (specs-wise) and up comes a salesperson telling me "Be sure to get the right kind of hard drive for your application." I'm over there thinkin' to myself whether or not he sees me clearly looking at specs. People who don't know what they're looking for or don't know which one they're supposed to buy don't look at specs, they either bring someone with them or ask for help.

    But, this is especially fun when you know the salesperson doesn't know as much as you, so you go to a sales rep and because you're lazy, ask them to give you what you need (in a nice way).

    Me: "I'm looking for memory for a Dell Latitude D610 laptop."
    Them: "Okay, let me look it up in my system."
    * Rep looks it up and finds a match *
    Them: "Here you go, this is what you need."
    He hands over the RAM.
    Me: "This is DDR memory, This is not compatible with my system."
    I walk him over to what I really need (DDR2) and he starts to ramble on about how they have the same pinout but are incompatible. He obviously doesn't know that the D610 had versions that took DDR2 memory later on in the production cycle.

    This may all be Chinese to you, but it's heavily satisfying to me when I know more about a product than the salesperson and they look like idiots trying to explain themselves. :D

    I don't do that often, only when I'm really really whacked out of it and need a good laugh. :)
    But after dealing with telemarketers all day at my previous job, I have no remorse when I mess with those who call to sell me things.

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    hehehe, az, I could answer you by saying beszélek egy kicsit magyarul

    I don´t get too many solicitations but the occasional person who gets past my keepers in the office and tries to tell me something will be told that they have to speak to a certain Herrn Wiedermeier in our Munich office and by the time I start to give them the number and ask if they speak German, they hang up.
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    az3579

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    Csak egy kicsit? Aww... :(




    Your podcast sucks, to be honest. :)

    I found out that automated telemarketing systems call throughout the day to see when they could reach someone. So, if you pick up the phone and it automatically hangs up, it was an automated logging the time they called so a live person could call back at that time, as someone was available to pick up. If it's a number you don't recognize, don't pick up. If it's important, you'll get a message anyway.

    Also, if you do pick up and nobody's answering (it will soon hang up), press the # key repeatedly to fool the system. It will not log the call and it will hang up anyway.

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    Egen. ;)

    But how many non Hungarians could get as far as I can get in a conversation?:D

    tommyboy guest

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    funny

    You guys are funny realy.But I like it when they ask your name and i tell them HODMEZOVASARHELYI ZUHANYZOFUGONY. Now that is funny to hear from someone who has no linguistic background.
    Tommy
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    az3579

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    Not bad, but it's spelled with an I in front. :)

    lol
    I don't know what shower curtains have to do with anything, but it's a funny word nonetheless. :D

    Kind of like fakanál, which sounds like you're cursing...



    Trying soooo hard to stay on topic... uh...
    I came up dry... :(

    Autohaus guest

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    I wonder what that means :D
    Too much time on my hands at work. I need to work for BMW in Munich. Mr. Spira, hire me and I'll relocate my family to Munich :D

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    If I hired you, you would be a researcher in New York. :)

    Autohaus guest

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    I'm all for that :D. I am well qualified. BS Degree, major in finance. 12 years of BMW experience :). I have applied to BMWNA over in Woodcliff Lake? I think it is to work in the finance department. However, I have been shot down twice :(. Don't tease me with you hiring me because if you were ever serious, when could we meet?!

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    You realize, I have no connection to BMW, right?

    Autohaus guest

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    Oh rats, I though you did. LOL. I feel like a dunce :eek:
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    granthr

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    I am a dunce too! I also thought he worked for BMW! :(

    GR

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    C´mon, how could I review BMW´s offerings without bias if I worked for them?

    Autohaus guest

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    You wouldn't be related to a Howard Spira?

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    Most emphatically: NEIN

    Autohaus guest

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    gotcha. Your sig made us all think you worked for BMW or the CCA, or both!

    Jonathan Spira guest

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    What part of the sig. gives that implication? Just curious.
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    granthr

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    You know Jon I should of known. It was just what you were saying and the pic of the 4 cylinder building. I remember reading your article a couple years ago about when you picked up your 3er in Germany and I enjoy reading your other articles too. Pretty cool you got your car on the cover! :D

    It was just a quick thought and I didn't put two and two together!

    GR

    Autohaus guest

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    4 cyl building ;)

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